My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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