I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
