I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
