so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she smelled like a LAN party
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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