i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
