I hate all girls vehemently.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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