the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
