New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
