If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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