you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
