that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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