Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
