I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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