So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
