the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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