having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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