went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
