At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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