just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
