ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
