I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
