I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
