we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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