So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I party with great urgency now.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
