I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
