I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
