The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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