when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
a search helicopter?!
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
