i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
