She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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