I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
