i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
