...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
