was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you didnt know i had herpes?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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