Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
