brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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