holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
