some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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