is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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