And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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