Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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