sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
