absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Damn victory sex feels great
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
