don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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