she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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