I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
