direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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