Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
