I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
