I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We don't watch enough power rangers
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
