Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
