K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
