We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
