how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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